Wizard Everydays.

So I've been making things.

Tried something new with my kale chips (I now have THREE different flavors. Win). Enter Chili Kale Chips. 1 cup cashews all ground up with some water, salt, nutritional yeast, cumin, garlic powder, and chili powder, dehydrated at 125 for 8 hours. Tastes a lot like awesome. I wish I could be more specific with those measurements, but I am one to just throw things in until it tastes the way I want it to.

Pies. I've now made three recipes from Vegan Pie in the Sky: Peanut butter cheesecake, apple, and the crust for hand pies, but with my own pumpkin filling. So far, a very worthy purchase. Currently the hand pies are in the bathroom because that's the only place still safe from my binge-eating retriever.

Um, piez.

Stop looking at me like that.

Chana masala of smitten kitchen. As a side: cherry curry couscous.

And finally, today I received the best early birthday present ever: A box of birthday cake Oreos. I've been hoarding my last box like it's the apocalypse. Apparently I'm not alone, since someone in the area put the thirty remaining boxes at Target on hold. Leave it to mom to shop four places until she found them, hidden at the back of the drug store.

Want a beer.

I frequently get on food plateaus.

When I make something that's really good, I just keep making it until I get bored (which might be days or many weeks later). I like easy things that I can make quickly for my 3-11 shifts. Elaborate meals have to wait for days off, so I tuck the intense cravings I get into the back corners of my mind for later (http://havecakewilltravel.com/2009/03/17/the-little-crust-that-could-chew-chew/--GAAAHHH). Mostly I bring various Asian-themed stir fries, soups, or bean dishes. For a while I was hooked on tofu rancheros.

Lately, it's been this:

Chili tofu scramble.

Basically I saute the tofu with parsnips until it's brown and crispy, and then throw in whatever variety of vegetables I have on hand: corn, peppers, broccoli, green onions, etc. This concoction is enhanced by salt, pepper, Penzey's Chili Powder, mustard, and nutritional yeast. So good. Why?

Other scarfing events of the week:
Waffle Wednesday was moved to Thursday due to time constraints (although, Waffle Wednesday isn't every week anyways, so what does it matter). This week was Double Chocolate. BOIfriend enjoyed his with excessive amounts of Earth Balance and my mom's homemade strawberry sauce.

Today was the season opener of my favorite food cart!! The Lunch Room is an all vegan food cart in downtown Ann Arbor. I creep on them in a big way. Today I ran through a thunderstorm to retrieve a steaming cup of chowder and a chocolate chip cookie.

Pie. Currently making apple pie from Vegan Pie in the Sky. Can't wait.

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PICTURE. LOOK AT IT.

I use my ears to fucking fly.

Cookie monsters.

Oops. We're not as dark anymore.

This is May.

"Um, cookiez."

May will eat anything that I leave on the counter to cool. Last week, she went batshit crazy and ate 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies and a chunk of cake when I stepped outside. Since she didn't learn from this experience of having nighttime sugar sweats and really bad shits, she stole a single cookie from the counter today (then again, it was only one cookie. Maybe she is learning restraint). This time, while I was IN the room. She has lost all respect for authority in the name of cookies. Also, bitch loves shoes.

These are really good cookies though. The recipe was only slightly changed from from here: http://jolicolis.blogspot.com/2011/09/lavender-chocolate-chip-cookies-vegan.html. I don't have any lavender, and I like my cookies a little spiced up, so I just added a little bit in that department. That lady knows how to make a damn fine cookie. I can take no credit for this at all.

Ingredients:

2 cups all purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/4 tsp salt

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp ginger

1/4 tsp cloves

3/4 cup melted Earth Balance

1 1/2 cups evaporated cane sugar

1 tbsp vanilla

1 tsp molasses

1/2 tsp agave

1 1/2 tbsp ENergy Egg Replacer mixed with 3 tbsp water

Follow the directions on her site.

Can anyone recommend any good vegan eateries in Denver? Gotta make a quick visit next week to visit UC Denver.

Two Posts in One Day....and neither one about food. Sorry.

Hopefully I'll contribute something useful to this site one day, but until that day my Oops! compatriots will have to forgive me as I use this blog to write absurd posts, like this:

While writing my last post, my first sentences addressed the Twilight series. Now, I haven’t read all the books, but I did have the (un)fortunate experience of being in the middle of nowhere (read: Idaho forest), and being fresh out of books. The only new book around was an associate’s copy of Twilight. Later that year, my teen sister had all the other ones, so I did what any sensible person would do: I skipped straight to the fourth book and skimmed through it. So I do know the beginning and end to this story, and if I had to guess, I probably didn’t miss much in the “middle”.

However, since we at Oops! find kicks as dedicated researchers of the vampire-teen phenomenon, I have been exposed to the movies. Our dedication went so far, we decided to PAY to gawk in horror for two hours at Breaking Dawn: Part I, where a half-vampire baby rips itself out of a womb and necrophilia officially became the way to a richer, superpower-filled life (beatings by husband are a bonus!).

As I pondered about this series and how I could break into the teen fantasy market, I slowly came to the realization that my academic career and the Twilight series are more intertwined than I initially believed. The first year of law school, admittedly almost as gross as the Breaking Dawn movie, would actually make excellent preparation for life as a vampire. Not only have I been trained to read complex, dull documents, but I have acquired the skills needed to survive in a vampire society. Do I sound crazy? Just read through this first year subject list and tell me what YOU think….

(1.) Civil Procedure: This is the subject that will make or break you as a trial lawyer. And you’re going to need a lot of skills when you stand trial against the Volturi, those conniving rulers and judges of vampire action. I can guarantee you’ll wow the court when you move for a 12(b)(6) motion to dismiss for lack of personal jurisdiction!


(2.) Contracts: We may not all be the lucky recipients of extravagant gifts from our vampire boyfriends, but a good contract will protect you through tough times. Any law student knows that CONSIDERATION is required to create a binding contract, so here’s an excellent application of this:
“I hereby give up my soul in CONSIDERATION for an eternity of sparkling wedding bliss.”

Without this consideration, the contract isn’t even a contract, it’s just a promise! Your vampire bf-turned-hubby could very well get tired of you and, after a few centuries, try to rip off your head and burn you up in an attempt to get rid of you. With this contract, you GUARANTEE he’ll at least think twice before doing so.


(3.) Criminal Law: You may be dealing with the undead, but don’t let that stop you from pursuing charges! American vampires are still subject to American laws, and attempted murder, actual murder, necrophilia, and assault are all somewhere in the model criminal code. These glitterific criminals will certainly sparkle less when their conniving minds are in prison. Maximum-security, vampire-proof prison…


(4.) Constitutional Law: Read: A right to have a vampire as your love partner. Also a right to have your half-vampire baby. I would mention “commerce clause”, but that’s about boring stuff that lets Congress do whatever it wants, like try to regulate marijuana.


(5.) Torts: Just got into a sticky situation because you can’t do anything without being watched over by a supernatural boy? Sue said supernatural boy for negligence and watch the cash cascade in!


(6.) Property: Needed to determine whose territory is whose when land disputes arise between the natives (werewolves, but not really?) and your vampire family. Make sure to file your land certificates!


(7.) Legal research and writing: Useless. You need to be a vampire, not some brief-writing sissy!

That's all for now folks. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

THE RETURN

Well folks,
I rarely write on this blog, since I am (a) busy being a law student and (b) not a vegan cook. However, I do post at least once a year, and I think that there's a topic we can all agree on: the ideological and physiological allure of the Twilight series.

Just kidding. Maybe next post? Actually, I wanted to talk about something near and dear to my heart as well as yours: animals!!! In particular, rescue organizations for cast-aside pets. I am proud to have adopted my dog from a rescue organization, but there's a lot of kitties, birds, heck even hamsters out there needing a home. However, there are some pros and cons to adopting a pet, same as if you were buying your furry friend. Although I'm sure our readers possess the mental faculties to figure this stuff out on their own, I'm still going to give you my personal list:

Let's start with the cons:
(1.) Pets are expensive. Even if you don't shell out the bucks for that purebred, food costs. Vet bills cost quite a bit. Especially if they get into something that they aren't supposed to.


There's the added problem that maybe the dogs need extra health care that the rescue organization couldn't afford to provide. I remember getting my dog and realizing that if I didn't act fast, his teeth were going to start falling out in the next few years. When I got the bill for the teeth cleaning, I nearly keeled over.

The good news is that many of the rescue organizations have relationships with vets that could give a discount. Make sure to ask.

(2.) PETS NEED YOUR TIME. All money aside, a rescued dog may have to deal with emotional issues like abandonment or abuse. They may need your support, and to do that, you're going to have to be there for them. I'm lucky to live at my parents' house right now, where I have three extra people to help look after the dog if I have to leave. My dog's breed (Pomeranian) is renowned for its bonding to humans, and I know that whenever I move out he'll need the extra stimuli of someone coming over in the middle of the day when I'm working. I'm willing to let that happen, just as I'm willing to take him on walks when it's freezing outside or take playbreaks with him - because a good petowner knows the dog needs bonding time!

(3.) Housetraining issues. Many of these rescue pets (mostly dogs, but sometimes cats I've heard) may have come from situations where they were never housebroken. And may never totally be. This is a pretty big deal if you can't handle it. So talk to some experts - vets, dog trainers - and be prepared for messes. Hopefully, you can train the dog out of it, but some may never totally be able to control themselves, due to their physiology or some emotional distress that happened to them.


OK, onto the PROS:

(1.) FRIEND FOR LIFE! At least sometimes. You may have a finicky cat or dog, or they're really shy. But with the right amount of work, you should be able to revel in being their best friend. Or at least cherish a bond with the animal. My dog helped me rebound out of a bad time, and I'm very thankful to have him.

(2.) Opening extra spaces at the rescue for new animals! Rescues can often only hold oh-so-many animals, due to the limited number of extraordinary people who will foster these poor souls. So an extra spot could mean life or death to those animals that are waiting to be picked up out of high-kill shelters and into a rescue organization.


In closing, please note that there's a lot of ways to support animals even if you can't afford the time or money to adopting a friend. You can often ask vets for lists of rescue organizations around, or just google it. You can make a donation to local rescue organizations who really need the support, as well as volunteering to help out. If you come across old dog or cat toys, beds, etc. that aren't being used anymore, you could pass these on to those organizations as well. Here's hoping for a happy new year to all of our animal friends!!!!!!

WANT MY CAMERA.

I would like to say that I am typing up a recipe, but I'm not doing that because I don't have a camera and haven't had one for some time now. I loaned it out. It has pictures of food on it currently.

Food blogs without pictures are DUMB. I will not apologize for that statement.

I feel like I am getting to this point myself right now:

Can't not bake.

When I'm stressed, anxious, happy, sad, angry or depressed, I bake. I'm feeling many of these things all the time, so I often try to resist the urge. I resisted until noon today. Then I made delicious muffins. Now I'm making dough for pizza crust. I'm not an emotional eater. I am an emotional baker.

I tried. I tried so, so hard.

Lemon Date Jam Muffins

I'm bleeding.

INGREEDZ:
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tbsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup apple sauce (unsweetened)
1 cup full-fat coconut milk
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 cup vegan cane sugar
1 tbsp ground flax
2 tbsp water
Jam of choice

DO THIS:
Preheat oven to 350. In a small dish, combine 1 tbsp ground flax with 2 tbsp water and allow to congeal. In a smallish bowl, mix the flour, baking powder and salt. In a larger bowl, mix the apple sauce, coconut milk and sugar. Add in the lemon juice and flax mixture. Pour and mix in the dry ingredients a little at a time, until thoroughly combined. Distribute evenly into a greased cupcake pan (makes 12). Push a teaspoon of your favorite jam into the middle of each muffin (I used Date Jam, from American Spoon). Bake for about 30 minutes. Allow to cool in the muffin tin for 10 minutes before transferring to a rack.

Snack attack.