My dog ate the foot off a tiger.

I made some god damn pancakes.

These didn't turn out quite as awesome as the first time I made them. The batter was very thick the first time, and the swirls were impeccable. Highly visible. They were also so rich I had a belly ache for a full 24 hours. In a good way. This time around, you can't really see the swirls, and I feel full but not gloriously ill with happiness. Nonetheless, these tasted good. I will post the recipe, but look for improvements in the future when I try to replicate the first batch.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Swirl Pancakes and visa versa

INGREEDZ:

PB batter-

3 tbsp creamy peanut butter (I used Jiff Naturals)

2 tbsp maple syrup

1 tbsp oil

1 tsp vanilla

3/4 cup flour

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup milk alternative

Chocolate batter-

3/4 cup flour

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

2 tbsp cocoa powder

3/4 cup milk alternative

1 tsp vanilla

2 tbsp maple syrup

2 tbsp oil

DO THIS:

In a very small bowl, mix the peanut butter, maple syrup, oil, and vanilla. In two separate medium bowls, mix the dry ingredients for the two separate batters. To the sans cocoa dry ingredients, add the milk alternative and the PB mixture. Stir until just combined, with clumps still visible. In the cocoa bowl, add the milk alternative, vanilla, maple syrup and oil. Mix until just combined, and clumps are visible. In a cast iron skillet, melt down some Earth Balance. Drop 1/4 cup of one of the batters. Take a spoon and create a spiral with the other batter. Alternate so that you have chocolate pancakes with peanut butter swirls and peanut butter pancakes with chocolate swirls.

Pancakes.

Also, observe the latest blog cooperative I started: alpineurbanist.blogspot.com.

Buttcheek fiesta

!?!?!?

Is this some vain attempt to give the blog life again?

WHO THE FUCK KNOWS! I'm not making any promises. All I know is that I made cookies, they are the bee's knees and the world needs to know about them.

Fact: The Oxford Comma has been annihilated. I am upset about it, but am acting accordingly.

Fact: I have been meaning to blog. I enjoy writing, and my outlets are few and far between.

Fact: You can no longer find newer work by me on Alpinist, but you can continue to find it on verticalgirl.com. Also, anyone who is a climber (female), would like to try a hand writing about it and isn't afraid of exposing their work to the world should throw something together and send it to jenny@verticalgirl.com. It may just make it on the website!

Fact: Although this blog hasn't seen new material since April, it's not because I haven't been eating.

Observe.

Cherry swirl pancakes with crumble topping

Cashew Tofu from VeganDad

Last night was the first day this week I've cooked. I've been in the lovely Leelanau, eating out every night. Dinner was stuffed bell peppers with a baguette on the side, courtesy of Bay Bread Co. I desperately wanted cookies afterwards, but watched a movie instead.

Beau's plate, arranged as a smiley face.

So, I made cookies early this morning. Why not? Honey badger don't give a shit.

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies (Better with dried cherries)

Ingreedz:

2 cups + 2 tbsp all purpose flour

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 baking soda

2 tsp baking powder

1 1/2 tbsp ground flax, mixed with 4 tbsp water

3/4 cup (tub) Earth Balance

1 cup light brown sugar

2 tsp vanilla

1 1/2 cups chocolate chips (or a mix of chocolate chips and dried cherries)

Do THIS:

Pre-heat oven to 325. Melt the Earth Balance in the microwave (note, I used tub EB, not stick). Meanwhile, mix the flax and water and allow to congeal. In a small bowl, mix the flour, salt, baking soda and baking powder. Afterwards, in a larger bowl, mix the melted EB, brown sugar, vanilla and flax mixture. Once well-combined, add the flour mixture in spurts. Once everything is well mixed, stir in the chocolate chips (and/or cherries). Drop dough balls about a quarter cup in size onto parchment covered cookie sheets (unless you're a real badass and have silicon baking sheets like me). Bake for 18-20 minutes, or until brown.

Consume as many as possible while they are warm, preferably with a tall, bourgeois glass of your favorite milk alternative.

WHY AM I NOT STILL HERE?