Sunday, February 27, 2011

Look up Live Avatar Role Playing on Youtube. Change your life.

Dinner today waz gud.

The mancandy is out of town this week. What's a girl to do?


Lot's of things.

Have simple breakfast. Go to Meijer. Find out they DO sell coconut oil, and for half as much as everywhere else. Realize how much money you could have saved. Throw mini fit in baking aisle. Climb. Make delicious lunch. Transcribe interview. Go to library, rent movies. Russa. MAKE FANTASTIC DINNER. Because I fucking DESERVE that. Eat a store-bought cupcake.

Let's talk about that dinner.

Milling about on Twitter, imagining witty things to tell our readers, I found windattack's tweet about peanut butter sweet potato fries.


Peanut butter sweet potato fries.

Yes. I, too, was intrigued. I investigated. I made them. Here's the link to the recipe. I used my Jiff Natural and it turned out perfect. Upon first bite, your mind doesn't know what to think. The strength of the two flavors, and their not obvious pairing, makes you stop and wonder: Do I like this? What is HAPPENING to me?

Second bite--SOLD. It's amazing. I wanted to eat the whole tray. My brother, a picky eater, also tried them. The reactions were identical. MAKE THEM.

I spent 20 minutes wondering what would go good with these. Traditional burgers or sandwiches or ANYTHING really didn't fit. So I imagined what I usually use peanut butter for in savory circumstances (that being peanut sauces in stir fries). Enter the bbq tofu.


1 slice of tofu, cut corner to corner
2 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp hoisin sauce
1 tsp hot sauce of your choice

Mix the oil and sauces in a small bowl. Put it the tofu (if you aren't in a hurry, press it beforehand). Allow to sit while preparing the fries. Soak. Let it soak (taking care to flip them over halfway through this) for about 20-25 minutes. Warm up some olive oil over medium-low heat in a cast iron skillet. Cook tofu on each side until browned. Serve with fries, and delight!

Stay tuned this week, my pets. I plan on announcing a give-away.


Thursday, February 24, 2011

Well, THIS is a bit late.

Friends, readers, I'm so sorry for abandoning you for so long.

It's been a rough week or so. Stress levels were high. Frustrations abound. Like Bilbo Baggins, I was butter scraped over too much bread. I did, however, win a burrito at a competition on Sunday--a high point in an otherwise regrettable seven days. Then I found there was a large picture of me on the climbing gym's webpage, warming up on a climb with my pants falling down. AWESOME.

My "contribution" to last weeks dinner was supposed to be dessert. I was going to make an ice cream cake. However, I forgot key ingredients. I mean, can you blame me? I BROUGHT THE PARTY, BITCHES. Amidst my bags filled with an ice cream maker, slicer, cookies, ingredients, dome cake pans, and the N64/Zelda, it should come as no surprise that I forgot shit. NO SURPRISE.

Unfortunately, my dessert mostly sucked. I was going to make chocolate chip cookie "ice cream," and put it in a vanilla cake. But all the substituting failed. Bombed. The ice cream was okay, but the cake was awful.

Phallic, in fact. Phallic Cake.

I will, in the near future, blog this cookie recipe for you. But not tonight because I'm feeling unmotivated to go and dig it out from the mess that is my apartment. I just wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten about Oops. That I wish I could have written on it all week.

We took sweet pictures. Here are a few. More will appear with the post about the sandwiches. Candy cigarettes. Not vegan. Found out after we worked our way through a box. Who knew?

Zelda. So much love. So much heartbreak.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I bet you're wondering what that amazing smell is. Well, it's my waffle.

Ladies and gentleman--

Tonight is the party event of the year. Big names. Amazing music. Great catering. And Zelda: Ocarina of Time.


The menu is extensive and has required prior preparation by all members of the Oops team. Multiple courses of breathtaking mouthgasms. All of which will be blogged post-event.

Until then, to keep you satisfied, I bring you yet another pancake recipe.

Fluffy Lemon Poppyseed Pancakes

These were incredible. I've never had a vegan pancake with so much loft. Each was about 1/2 inch thick. Light, flavorful, and lovely to gaze upon.


1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 T baking powder
1 T poppyseeds
2 T sugar
1 1/4 cups "milk"
1 tsp apple cider vinegar
2 T oil
1 T lemon juice


In a medium bowl, mix together the flour, salt, baking powder, poppyseeds, and sugar. Make a well in the center, and pour in the milk, cider vinegar, oil, and lemon juice. Mix together, but not too thoroughly. These are pancakes, so lumps are not only acceptable, they are ideal. Meanwhile, you can be heating lavish amounts of margarine in a cast iron skillet over low-medium heat. Drop a third cup or so of batter (more or less, depending on your desires) and cook both sides to a golden crispiness. Serve with real maple syrup. Love yourself for the accomplishment.

Did everyone have a nice Balumtimes? I did. Mom sent me Valentines chocolate. I had to work, but it was Good Idea Monday. Every Monday, we have some grand idea (generally edible). This week, it was me bringing in waffle making supplies so that we could have Boston Creme Pie Waffles. I unfortunately don't have pictures. They made the whole gym smell heavenly, and we had customers asking if they could purchase whatever was cooking. The answer, of course, was a cheerful "NO! THEY'RE MINE!!" I made sure to take a safety walk while eating my waffle, just to relish the feeling of everyone's longing eyes on my bounty. Yeah, climb that wall. The satisfaction of doing so won't be even half as good as that which I get from eating my chocolate and pudding coated waffle, bitch.

Also, the clothing demo went well last week. Someone gave me a home-brew.

I have a mission to acquire more soymilk and to locate candy cigarettes (where does one find these things nowadays, anyway?).

Thursday, February 10, 2011

People for a Disney-Free Ender Wiggin.

I'd like to dedicate the last discussion in this post to a certain editor.

So, friends. I apologize for our slacking, but the Oops! team has been suffering from illness and work (Are these two things mutually exclusive? Is work an illness? I swear, more than one child I see on a daily basis has made a pact with Satan to destroy me). But I have plenty to share with you today.

First, chocolate.

Chocolate delivered from Ecuador by my brother.

Good chocolate.

Second, my lunch today: A Jalapeño Popper Sandwich.

This sandwich was made possible by my mother. Although I never get to see her, despite being a mere 50 miles away, I still receive gifts representing her affection, as she receives mine (recycling, because my apartment complex doesn't handle that shit). Most recently I received some home-made, home-canned jalapeño pepper jelly. It's delicious, and has been interesting to experiment with. Like eating the pepper but sweeter and without the kick. Thinking about this spicy jem, I realized that there are too few jalapeño poppers in my life anymore, and I should probably do something about it. Enter the sandwich. Two pieces of bread (generously buttered), a smothering of Toffuti cream "cheese," and the jelly. The sandwich was then fried to a golden brown state in my cast iron skillet. Delightfus.

All right, now third. Maple oatmeal cookie crust. A discussion about maple.

I made a berry tart today with some of my frozen blueberries and strawberries from the summer markets. Here's the recipe for the crust:

1 1/2 cups rolled oats
3/4 cup flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup Earth Balance, melted
1/4 cup maple syrup (I used grade A medium)
1 1/2 tsp vanilla

Mix the dry ingredients in a medium bowl. Create a well in the center, add the wet ingredients, and stir until well-combined. Spread into a baking dish. Fill with whatever kind of tart filling you enjoy. I just threw my berries into my skillet, cooked them down until they were almost jelly-like, poured them over the crust, and baked at 375 until the edges were brown. I will be taking it to the Vertical Girl Demo at work tonight. Probably won't eat it, though, because I have brownies and I want those more.

Yes, maple. The Oops! team's favorite sweetener. Remember when we made our own? Probably not. I'm pretty sure that the only people reading the blog that far back were our suburban mothers, our Frog Holler friends, and ourselves. That's okay, because thanks to archiving you can read about it here and here. When it comes to syrup grades, how do you know which one to use? Depends on what you're going for.

Grade A Fancy: Very light amber color. Very good on ice cream. Doesn't have a strong maple flavor, and lacks a very thick consistency.
Grade A Medium: My general choice for baking. The flavor is just enough that it will appear in the baked goods, but not overpower them (unless I really lay it on heavy). Also ideal for pancakes and waffles. I put it in the batter and on top of the finished product.
Grade A Dark: Maple flavor is getting stronger, and the syrup is thicker. Use when maple is the flavor you want to highlight. Great table syrup.
Grade B: Serious shit. Not for the impotent, infirm, spineless wimps of the world. Very dark and thick with both an extreme maple flavor as well as a--dare I even say it--caramel one. Want to be able to grab the skull of your enemies and rip out their spine like predator? Drink a gallon of this for breakfast.

Some news: Next Tuesday the Oops! team will be having a banquet to celebrate the blog's one-year anniversary. X and I will be having a planning summit on Sunday. Expect big things.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

"to my mind, the cause ought not to be to end slaughter, but to end the cycle that causes people to choose it. fight ignorance, fight deception, fight self-loathing, fight fear of the other, be a witness to the truth as you have experienced it - reject the inevitability of that unspoken social contract - and in doing such, empower people to make compassionate choices for themselves." - tara sophia bahna-james

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Windburn: A Sob Story. Oh, and an Event.

For those of you who live in the Ann Arbor area...

This event is my brainchild. So, I want people to attend. Know a climber? ARE a climber? Are a she-climber? Come climb in these clothes. Yay.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Don't ice out of Battle School.

And now we are 101.

Today's a day off. I don't really know what to do with myself on days off anymore. I feel like my motivation to do anything other than sit on my ass has tanked. I need to be given more tasks. Hopefully that problem will be resolved sometime within the next 48 hours. More on that another day.

I tweeted that I had a pancake recipe to share with you, and I am here to deliver. Yes, shocking, Pancake has a fucking pancake recipe. Last week I wanted some for lunch. I had an avocado. I had cocoa powder. Yes. I had chocolate-avocado pancakes. It was swell.


Chocolate-Avocado Pancakes

1/2 cup avocado, mashed
2 T agave
1 T safflower oil (If i had had some, I would've used coconut oil)
2 T cocoa powder
1/4 cup flaxmeal
1/4 cup coconut flour
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp baking powder
1 cup soymilk

In a medium bowl, mix avocado, agave, oil, and cocoa powder. Meanwhile, start heating a tablespoon of Earth Balance or margarine over medium heat on your cast iron skillet (if you don't have one, leave. Just. Leave). In a smaller bowl, mix the flax, flours, salt, and baking powder. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, alternating with the "milk." Don't over-mix. These are pancakes. They like clumps. Proceed to cook as normal pancakes. I enjoyed mine with the standard--maple syrup.

Now that we have breached 100 posts, I'd like to take this time to ask you, our darling 10 readers, if there is anything that you'd like from Oops. A certain recipe? A question answered? A give-away? A blessing for long life, wealth, and ample sex? Share.