How to get a pile o' greens on your plate, in fifteen easy steps:
Step one - get born in the spring.
Step two - twenty two years later, befriend some farmers.
Step three - turn twenty-three.
Step four - unknowingly go to your surprise birthday party, thrown by said farmers and pals.
Step five - receive an edible bouquet of greens, broccoli rabe and asparagus.
Step six - drizzle the asparagus in olive oil, salt and pepper, and roast in a 425 degree oven for five to ten minutes.
Steps seven through fourteen - heat some more olive oil in a skillet. Chop 3 cloves of garlic. Dump greens into skillet and turn continuously with tongs, until everybody turns bright green. Add the garlic, and turn a few more times. Add about 3/4 cup vegetable broth, three dashes of hot sauce, and the juice of 1/2 lemon. Cover and cook for about 4 minutes. Turn off the heat and let the greens hang for five or ten more minutes. Eat the asparagus while you're waiting.
Step fifteen - pile them greens on yer plate and eat em up!!